Have you ever finally finished everything on your to-do list (or at least enough of it), sat down on the couch, and instead of feeling relaxed… your brain immediately started making another list?
Or maybe you’ve tried journaling, meditation, deep breathing, or taking a break, but instead of feeling refreshed, you felt restless.
If you’ve ever wondered, “Why can’t I just relax?” you’re not alone.
In this week’s episode of the Secrets of Supermom Show, I sat down with trauma-informed somatic coach and nervous system practitioner Stephanie Nelson to talk about something that every busy mom needs to understand: your nervous system.
What if your constant drive to keep going isn’t a lack of discipline—or even a personality trait? What if it’s actually your body’s way of trying to keep you safe?
Ready to listen? Use the podcast player or listen anywhere you find your favorite podcasts. (Don’t forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode!)
Rather read? Check out the show notes and episode content right here!
Show Notes: Your Body Isn’t Working Against You
Hey, hey friend! Welcome to Episode #306 of The Secrets of Supermom Show!
One of my favorite moments from our conversation was when Stephanie explained that our nervous systems have one primary job: to keep us safe.
That means many of the behaviors we judge ourselves for—anxiety, perfectionism, constantly staying busy, even struggling to rest—may actually be survival strategies.
Instead of asking, “What’s wrong with me?” Stephanie encourages us to ask a different question:
“How is my nervous system trying to protect me?”
That simple shift moves us from self-criticism to self-compassion.
Why Rest Feels So Hard
As moms, we’re constantly told we need more self-care.
Take a bath.
Meditate.
Journal.
Slow down.
But what happens when you try those things and they don’t seem to help?
Stephanie explained that if your nervous system has spent years practicing “go, go, go,” slowing down can actually feel unfamiliar—and unfamiliar often feels unsafe.
That’s why rest can feel uncomfortable.
It isn’t because you’re doing it wrong.
It’s because your nervous system has become incredibly skilled at staying in motion.
The good news?
Patterns can change.
They just require repetition, not perfection.
The Hidden Link Between Anxiety and Perfectionism
One of the most fascinating parts of our conversation was learning how perfectionism can actually be a survival strategy.
Many high-achieving women believe they need to do more, achieve more, or be better in order to feel accepted, loved, or worthy.
Most of us aren’t consciously thinking those thoughts.
Instead, our nervous systems quietly drive us toward overworking, overthinking, and overachieving because somewhere along the way, our bodies learned that staying busy felt safer than slowing down.
Understanding this doesn’t excuse unhealthy habits—but it does help explain them.
And understanding is the first step toward change.
Healing Isn’t About Fixing Yourself
Stephanie shared that after decades of chronic pain, anxiety, and ADHD, she discovered something life-changing:
She wasn’t broken.
Her body had simply learned survival patterns that no longer served her.
That’s an important reminder for all of us.
You are not broken.
You don’t need to become someone else.
You don’t need another color-coded planner or a more perfect routine.
Sometimes what you need most is to begin listening to your body with curiosity instead of judgment.
You can’t change yesterday.
But you can choose how you show up today.
Whether your children are toddlers or adults, it’s never too late to become the mom—and the woman—you want to be.
About Our Guest: Stephanie Nelson
Stephanie Nelson is a trauma-informed somatic coach, nervous system practitioner, and founder of The Stress Healers. Diagnosed with ADHD and living with chronic pain and anxiety from an early age, she spent years trying to fix herself by working harder, striving for perfection, and unable to rest without guilt or another glass of wine.
For the past 22 years, she’s been on a deep journey of nervous system healing and somatic embodiment. Along the way, she discovered that anxiety isn’t a flaw to fight—it’s a survival strategy, the body’s way of trying to keep us safe.
Through somatics, she found that the body, not the mind or another to-do list, holds the key to true healing and freedom. Today she helps high-achieving women stop bracing for life and start living it, guiding them into confidence, clarity, and the fulfillment they’ve been missing.
https://www.thestresshealers.com
Stephanie’s membership RESOURCED. A community full of bite-sized practices for high-achieving women to heal stress and harmonize their nervous system:
https://www.skool.com/resourced-nervous-system
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About the Host: Lori Oberbroeckling
Lori Whitney Oberbroeckling is a mom of four, corporate leader, podcaster, productivity expert, and author of the book Secrets of Supermom: How Extraordinary Moms Succeed at Work and Home & How You Can Too!
She is passionate about helping parents who want fulfilling careers–or side hustles or passion projects–while also wanting to feel present and connected to their families.
