You know what you should be doing.
Go to bed earlier. Move your body. Drink the water. Eat the food that makes you feel good. Take a break. Put down your phone. Make time for yourself.
And maybe you even start with the best intentions.
But then work gets crazy. A kid needs something. The calendar fills up. You’re exhausted by the end of the day, and suddenly the habits you promised yourself you would stick to are the first things to go.
So you start wondering…
Why can’t I just be more consistent?
Maybe I need more discipline. More motivation. More willpower.
But what if none of those things are actually the problem?
That’s one of the ideas I explored with Courtney Townley, author of The Consistency Code and host of the Grace & Grit podcast, on this episode of The Secrets of Supermom Show.
And Courtney offered a reframe every busy mom needs to hear:
What we often call self-sabotage may actually be a capacity problem.
Ready to listen? Use the podcast player or listen anywhere you find your favorite podcasts. (Don’t forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode!)
Rather read? Check out the show notes and episode content right here!
Show Notes: How Busy Moms Can Finally Follow Through
Hey, hey friend! Welcome to Episode #314 of The Secrets of Supermom Show!
Think about a typical busy day.
You’ve been working, making decisions, managing schedules, responding to people, solving problems, taking care of kids, keeping track of approximately 8,472 things…and then evening arrives.
You had planned to go for a walk.
But scrolling on the couch feels easier.
You planned to make the healthy dinner.
But takeout feels easier.
You promised yourself you would go to bed early.
But suddenly you’re three episodes into a show because this is finally your time.
We can look at those choices and decide we’ve failed again.
Courtney sees them differently.
She explains that when we continually push ourselves throughout the day without enough opportunities for rest and recovery, eventually we run out of resources. We run out of energy. We run out of bandwidth. We run out of capacity.
At that point, your brain is looking for relief—and it tends to choose the easiest, most accessible option.
That doesn’t mean you’re incapable of being consistent.
It might mean you need to look at what happened before the moment when your plan fell apart.
And I LOVE that distinction.
Health Is Bigger Than Diet and Exercise
Courtney also challenges the way many women have been taught to define health.
For years, we’ve been told health is primarily about what we eat, how much we exercise, what we weigh, or what our bodies look like.
But Courtney describes something she calls deep health.
It’s not just about having a healthy body. It includes your mental and emotional health, your relationships, your environment, your sense of purpose, and the way you feel about the life you’re actually living.
That means taking care of yourself might sometimes look like exercising.
But it can also look like setting a boundary.
Going to bed.
Saying no.
Having a difficult conversation.
Leaving work when you said you would.
Creating white space on your calendar.
Or recognizing that the season you’re in simply cannot hold everything you wish it could.
And that last one can be especially hard for moms.
Boundaries Aren’t Just About Saying No to Things You Hate
One of my favorite parts of my conversation with Courtney was our discussion about boundaries.
Because sometimes saying no to something you don’t want to do is actually pretty easy.
The harder boundary?
Saying no to something you genuinely want to do.
You might want to volunteer.
Take on the new project.
Attend the event.
Help someone.
Add another activity to the calendar.
They can all be wonderful things.
But every yes costs something.
And when we don’t consciously decide what that yes will cost, the no often gets taken from somewhere else.
Maybe you say yes to another commitment…and no to sleep.
Yes to another project…and no to your workout.
Yes to helping everyone else…and no to having any margin for yourself.
This is where Courtney connects boundaries to self-leadership: knowing yourself well enough to recognize what you have the capacity for in this season and making decisions accordingly.
Consistency Doesn’t Mean Never Getting Off Track
This may be my favorite takeaway from the entire conversation:
Getting off track is inevitable. Staying there isn’t.
Courtney talks about the practice of realignment—the ability to notice when something feels off and make a choice that moves you back in the direction you want to go.
Because health isn’t a destination you finally reach.
You don’t arrive at Healthy Person Land, receive your trophy, and live there happily ever after.
Life changes.
Kids change.
Jobs change.
Bodies change.
Priorities change.
Your capacity changes.
The goal isn’t to create the perfect plan you’ll follow forever.
It’s to get better at noticing when you’ve drifted and knowing how to come back.
And sometimes coming back starts with one incredibly small decision.
Go to bed tonight.
Take the walk.
Eat lunch.
Close the laptop.
Ask for help.
Say no.
Start again.
What Does Health Mean to You Now?
At the end of our conversation, I asked Courtney for one small step a busy mom could take today.
Her answer wasn’t to start a new workout plan or overhaul your morning routine.
Instead, she encouraged us to ask:
What does health and wellness mean to me at this age and stage of my life?
Not what it meant ten years ago.
Not what Instagram says it should mean.
Not what your friend is doing.
What do you need to feel healthy and whole right now?
That question alone is worth sitting with.
But Courtney shares so much more in our full conversation, including the four practices she teaches in The Consistency Code, how mom guilt affects our boundaries, why follow-through requires more than grit and discipline, and how to recognize your own signs that you’re becoming misaligned.
If you’ve been telling yourself you just need to try harder, be more disciplined, or finally “get it together,” I especially want you to hear this one.
Listen to the full episode of The Secrets of Supermom Show with Courtney Townley and discover a completely different way to think about health, consistency, and taking care of yourself.
About Our Guest: Courtney Townley
Courtney has been helping women worldwide take better care of themselves with more consistency and ease for the past 20 years. She helps women mend their relationship with themselves so they can achieve deep health and live with more power, purpose, and impact.
Deep health, in her opinion, isn’t about following someone else’s set of rules and regulations for your life, it is about getting to know yourself better so you can lead yourself better.
She is the hostess of the highly-rated podcast, Grace & Grit, where she encourages women to expand the definition of health far beyond the topics of diet and exercise, and author of The Consistency Code.
Courtney is a level 2 certified nutrition coach through Precision Nutrition, a certified strength coach via the National Strength & Conditioning Association and a certified life coach via The Life Coach School.
Instagram
LinkedIn
Youtube
Facebook
-
About the Host: Lori Oberbroeckling
Lori Whitney Oberbroeckling is a mom of four, corporate leader, podcaster, productivity expert, and author of the book Secrets of Supermom: How Extraordinary Moms Succeed at Work and Home & How You Can Too!
She is passionate about helping parents who want fulfilling careers–or side hustles or passion projects–while also wanting to feel present and connected to their families.
