Have you ever toned down your personality at work to seem more “professional”? Softened an ask because you didn’t want to bother anyone? Felt like you had to choose between being liked and being respected?
You’re not alone — and executive communications coach Dr. Kate Mason has a name for it.
In this episode of the Secrets of Supermom Show, Lori sits down with Dr. Kate Mason, author of Powerfully Likeable and world-champion debater, to talk about the invisible communication challenges women face at work — and the practical strategies that actually help.
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Rather read? Check out the show notes and episode content right here!
Show Notes: Powerfully Likeable: Stop Shrinking Your Ideas and Start Taking Up Space
Hey, hey friend! Welcome to Episode #294 of The Secrets of Supermom Show!
Our guest, Dr. Kate Mason, is an executive communications coach who works with leaders at companies like Google, Netflix, Uber, and Microsoft. She’s a world-champion debater, a mom of two, and the author of Powerfully Likeable — called a “game-changer” by Publishers Weekly and praised by Radical Candor author Kim Scott as “compelling, compassionate, and funny.”
Her work centers on helping women navigate what she calls “communicating while female” — the often-unspoken rules that shape how women are perceived at work, and how to work within (and around) those rules without losing yourself in the process.
The Tightrope: Power vs. Likeability
One of the central ideas in Powerfully Likeable is that women are often forced to choose between two extremes: high authority with no warmth, or high likability with low authority. Dr. Mason argues that this is a false binary.
“I wanted to push against the idea that you have to choose,” she says. “Your warmth can absolutely be a leadership quality — it doesn’t have to be the thing you give up to be taken seriously.”
For working moms and high-achieving women, this reframe is powerful. Likability isn’t weakness — it’s currency. Research shows that likable people are more likely to be promoted, trusted with new opportunities, and given the benefit of the doubt. The goal isn’t to choose between power and likability. It’s to inhabit both.
What is “Imposing Syndrome”?
You’ve heard of imposter syndrome. Dr. Mason introduces a different phenomenon she calls imposing syndrome — the deeply socialized reluctance women have to take up space, make asks, or be seen as a burden.
Signs you might have imposing syndrome:
– Prefacing every request with “I know you’re so busy, but…”
– Saying “Can I grab just two seconds?” instead of “Can I put 30 minutes on your calendar?”
– Downplaying your idea before you’ve even shared it
– Holding back an ask entirely because you don’t want to bother anyone
“We minimize the ask, and by extension, we minimize ourselves,” Dr. Mason explains. “But the ask is the same either way — the difference is how much credit you give yourself going in.” Her fix? Visibility over apology. Instead of shrinking, make the value of your ask visible upfront: “I’d love to put an hour on your calendar — I want to walk you through something I’ve been working on.”
Why Women are the World’s Best Negotiators (Just Not for Themselves!)
One of the most striking pieces of research Dr. Mason shares: studies show that women are statistically better negotiators than men — but only when they’re negotiating on behalf of someone else. When advocating for a team member’s raise, women outperform their male counterparts.
When advocating for their own raise? The instinct to shrink kicks in.
Dr. Mason’s practical solution: use visibility, not emotion. Before a promotion cycle or salary conversation, put together a one-pager with your key achievements, metrics, and wins. Send it to your manager with a note like:
“I know the promotion cycle is coming up — this is a quick summary of what I’ve contributed this year. I’d really appreciate your support, and I’m happy to talk through anything you need.”
“That one-pager turns an emotional ask into a factual one,” she says. “You’re not begging for something — you’re making it easy for your manager to advocate for you.”
Pro tip from Lori: keep a running “accomplishments tracker” document and set a calendar reminder on the first of each month to add a few wins. When review season comes, you’ll never be caught scrambling.
How Motherhood Makes you a Better Communicator at Work (and vice versa)
One of the most resonant parts of this conversation is the overlap between communication skills at home and at work. Dr. Mason shares that many of the strategies she teaches in corporate workshops — validation, boundary-setting, making invisible things visible — translate directly to parenting.
One simple example: instead of responding to a child’s (or colleague’s) grievance with logic and justification, try:
“Thanks so much for telling me — that sounds like a lot.”
You’re not promising to fix it,” Dr. Mason explains. “You’re acknowledging it. And in both a boardroom and a living room, you’ll see the hackles come down almost immediately.”
For working moms, this is genuinely good news: the hard conversations you navigate at home are building muscles you use at work every single day.
About Our Guest: Dr. Kate Mason
Dr Kate Mason is an executive communications coach, world-champion debater and author. Kate works with leaders at companies like Google, Netflix, Uber, Microsoft and more to help them navigate the tricky act of “communicating while female” at work. A veteran of high-stakes Silicon Valley roles, Kate brings a unique perspective to leadership. Her book, Powerfully Likeable has been called a “game-changer” by Publishers Weekly, and Kim Scott of Radical Candor calls it a “compelling, compassionate and funny read in which Mason shows you how to break free”.
https://www.linkedin.com/in/katemasonphd
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About the Host: Lori Oberbroeckling
Lori Whitney Oberbroeckling is a mom of four, corporate leader, podcaster, productivity expert, and author of the book Secrets of Supermom: How Extraordinary Moms Succeed at Work and Home & How You Can Too!
She is passionate about helping parents who want fulfilling careers–or side hustles or passion projects–while also wanting to feel present and connected to their families.
