How to Support Your Child’s Emotions (Even When You’re Exhausted)

Are you a busy, working mom feeling completely drained—and then your child melts down?

If you’ve ever felt like you’re running on empty right when your child needs you most, this episode is for you. Clinical experts—and fellow moms—Dr. Kahlila Robinson and Sarah Gerstenzang share powerful, practical advice on how to show up for your children emotionally, even when you’re barely holding it together yourself.

Dr. Robinson is a licensed clinical psychologist with a private practice in New York City. Sarah Gerstenzang is a clinical social worker specializing in foster care, adoption, and developmental trauma. Together, they co-authored The Self-Regulation Workbook for Children Ages 5–8, a resource that bridges expert strategies with real-life parenting.

Ready to listen? Use the podcast player or listen anywhere you find your favorite podcasts. (Don’t forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode!)

Rather read? Check out the show notes and episode content right here!

Show Notes: How to Support Your Child’s Emotions (Even When You’re Exhausted)

Hey, hey friend! Welcome to Episode #244 of The Secrets of Supermom Show!

🎧 In This Episode, You’ll Learn:

✅ Where exhausted moms can actually start when their kids are struggling

Kahlila reminds us the first step is honest self-recognition: noticing signs of burnout like irritability, difficulty focusing, or low patience. The second step? Self-compassion. This is hard—and you’re doing your best.

✅ Why “just five minutes of fun” with your child can boost your energy too

Sarah shares a surprising strategy: find just five minutes to be playful. Not only does it support your child—it lifts your own mood and helps you reconnect.

✅ The critical role of emotional expression in child development

Kahlila and Sarah use the analogy of a sneeze—holding in feelings is like holding in a sneeze. Kids need safe, healthy ways to release emotions they can’t yet articulate.

✅ Simple strategies to help your child feel their feelings

Whether it’s quiet presence, validating words, or a warm hug, your support during big feelings teaches your child emotional regulation—not just in theory, but in practice.

✅ The power of calm—but realistic—parenting

You don’t have to be calm 24/7. But using sensory regulation strategies (like smelling a candle, stepping outside, or touching something cold) can help you de-escalate quickly in high-stress moments.

✅ Why not teaching in the moment is key to long-term growth

Wait until the emotion storm has passed. Teaching after the fact (instead of during a meltdown) leads to much more meaningful learning and reflection—for both you and your child.

👩‍👧 Powerful Parenting Tips from This Episode

• Use mindset shifts to increase patience
  Imagine your child’s tantrum as a healthy emotional release. This reframe creates space for empathy over frustration.
  
• Practice “communicate and punt”
  Feeling overwhelmed by messages or to-dos? Kahlila suggests acknowledging the message and giving yourself permission to respond later.
  
• Keep a childhood photo of yourself handy
  Sarah recommends this trick to boost empathy and see your child with fresh, compassionate eyes.
  
• Be your calm role model
  When in doubt, channel a calm figure you admire—a teacher, a grandma, or even a fictional character. Play the role until it becomes more natural.
  
• Soothe yourself in the kitchen
  Use everyday sensory moments like warm dishwater, a scented candle, or a quick look out the window to shift your energy in seconds.
  

🧠 What Is Self-Regulation (And Why It Matters)?

Self-regulation is your child’s ability to manage emotions, behaviors, and energy levels. It’s a skill that builds over time—not something kids are born knowing how to do. The more chances they have to safely feel their feelings, the better they get at managing them.

Kahlila and Sarah’s Self-Regulation Workbook for Children Ages 5–8 helps kids and parents build these crucial skills together.

📘 About the Workbook

Title: The Self-Regulation Workbook for Children Ages 5–8

This interactive guide includes:

• Simple, effective strategies for kids AND parents
  
• Playful exercises to build emotional expression
  
• Techniques to help moms regulate their own stress and overwhelm
  
• Tools to foster connection through co-regulation
  

Where to Buy: Available on Amazon, Goodreads, Ulysses Press, and wherever books are sold.

🌐 Connect with Today’s Guests

Dr. Kahlila Robinson

• Website: https://www.kahlilarobinsonphd.com/
• Instagram: @kahlilarobinsonphd 

Sarah Gerstenzang

Website: sarahgerstenzang.com

About Our Guests: Dr. Kahlila Robinson and Sarah Gerstenzang

Kahlila Robinson, Ph.D. is a psychologist in private practice in New York City. She received her doctoral training from The Graduate Center, City University of New York. She has worked with people from across the life span, and from all walks of life. She has specialized training and experience working with children and families, in parent mental health, and with adults with relational trauma. She has worked in hospital and clinic settings, as a Mental Health Consultant in preschools, and as Director of Parent Mental Health of a nationally recognized Early Intervention program in the Bronx, NY. She is a Supervising Psychologist for child and adult psychology graduate students at City College. She is an advocate for the availability of high-quality mental health services for underserved and vulnerable populations. She lives with her husband and children in New York City.

Sarah Gerstenzang is passionate about healthy human development. She currently works as a therapist with foster and adoptive families and previously held policy and administrative positions in child welfare. She holds a master’s degree in social work from Columbia University. She is the board president of the Adoptive and Foster Family Coalition of NY and has served on numerous advisory committees, including Fostering Families Today magazine, the Effects of Early Life Adversity on Brain Development (NIMH grant with Nim Tottenham, Ph.D.) and on the National Adoption Competency Mental Health Training Initiative. Sarah has been a foster and kinship parent and one of her three children was adopted from the New York City foster care system.