As busy moms, we negotiate more often than we realize.
We’re negotiating who handles school pickup, how household responsibilities get divided, whether we can leave work early for a soccer game, and even whether we’ll say yes—or finally say no—to another request on our already overflowing calendars.
But most of us don’t think of these everyday conversations as negotiations.
In this episode of The Secrets of Supermom Show, I sit down with negotiation and influence expert Attia Qureshi to talk about how moms can use simple negotiation strategies to create more balance, strengthen relationships, and advocate for themselves without feeling selfish or creating conflict.
Attia is a former MIT faculty member, an adjunct professor at the University of Michigan, and the author of Never Settle. During our conversation, she shares practical techniques that can help every busy mom ask for the support she needs—both at work and at home.
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Rather read? Check out the show notes and episode content right here!
Show Notes: Negotiation Isn’t Just for the Boardroom
Hey, hey friend! Welcome to Episode #304 of The Secrets of Supermom Show!
When most people hear the word negotiation, they immediately think about salary discussions, business deals, or contract negotiations.
But Attia explains that we’re actually negotiating dozens of times every day.
Think about conversations like:
- Asking your spouse to help with dinner.
- Deciding who drives the kids to practice.
- Setting expectations with coworkers.
- Talking with teachers.
- Planning holidays with extended family.
- Saying no to one more volunteer opportunity.
Every one of these interactions is an opportunity to communicate your needs while also considering the needs of others.
Learning to negotiate well doesn’t just improve your career—it improves your everyday life.
Why So Many Moms End Up Doing Everything
One of the biggest challenges moms face is believing it’s simply easier to do everything themselves.
We’ve all said it.
“It’s faster if I just do it.”
Unfortunately, that habit often leads to overwhelm, resentment, and burnout.
Attia shares a simple strategy she uses at home called the “While I’m doing this…” technique.
Instead of asking someone to help from across the room, she begins a task and says something like:
“While I’m unloading the dishwasher, could you take out the trash?”
Because you’re already contributing, it naturally encourages reciprocity and teamwork instead of defensiveness.
It’s a tiny shift in language that can make a surprisingly big difference.
Women Face Unique Challenges When Negotiating
Many women have heard the advice:
“Just ask for what you want.”
The problem?
Research shows women are often judged differently than men when making direct requests.
Rather than becoming more aggressive, Attia encourages women to focus on collaboration.
Instead of framing conversations as “me versus you,” think about how your request benefits everyone involved.
Whether you’re negotiating at work or at home, looking for solutions that create a win-win often leads to stronger relationships and better outcomes.
The Negotiation Happening Inside Your Mind
One of my favorite parts of this conversation was learning that the hardest negotiation often isn’t with another person.
It’s with ourselves.
Before we ask for help or set a boundary, our minds fill with questions like:
- What if they get upset?
- What if they think less of me?
- What if they say no?
- What if they think I’m selfish?
Attia encourages us to identify the emotion that’s holding us back and simply say it out loud.
Naming our fear helps calm our nervous system and makes it easier to move forward with confidence.
Learning to Say No Without Feeling Guilty
Many moms struggle to say no because we don’t want to disappoint anyone.
But every yes has a cost.
When we continually say yes to everyone else, we eventually say no to our own time, energy, and well-being.
Attia recommends practicing saying no in low-stakes situations first.
Building that muscle in everyday conversations makes it much easier when bigger decisions come along.
Small Changes Create Big Results
One of the biggest takeaways from this episode is that negotiation isn’t a personality trait.
It’s a skill.
Like any skill, it improves with practice.
Every small conversation becomes an opportunity to become more confident asking for support, setting boundaries, and creating the life you truly want.
About Our Guest: Attia Qureshi
Attia Qureshi is a negotiation and influence expert, former MIT faculty member, adjunct professor at the University of Michigan, and the founder of Attia Qureshi Consulting — where she has spent two decades helping leaders, teams, and organizations negotiate better outcomes in every room they walk into.
Her work spans Fortune 500 boardrooms, university classrooms, and conflict zones around the world, where she has negotiated on behalf of the U.S. State Department in some of the most complex environments imaginable. She brings the same framework — principled, interest-based, and relentlessly human — to every context.
Her book, Never Settle: Persuasion and Negotiation Skills to Get What You Want, publishes May 12, 2026. Daniel Pink calls it a book that will “train you how to move through the world.”
She lives in northern Michigan with her son and her husband, a seventh generation cherry and apple farmer. She tries — and mostly fails — to negotiate with the weather.
https://www.linkedin.com/in/attiaq/
https://attiaqureshi.substack.com
https://www.instagram.com/attiaq/
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About the Host: Lori Oberbroeckling
Lori Whitney Oberbroeckling is a mom of four, corporate leader, podcaster, productivity expert, and author of the book Secrets of Supermom: How Extraordinary Moms Succeed at Work and Home & How You Can Too!
She is passionate about helping parents who want fulfilling careers–or side hustles or passion projects–while also wanting to feel present and connected to their families.
