Overcoming Fear in Motherhood | Podcast Episode #19

Becoming a mom is scary. Being a mom is scary. Being a busy, working mom is scary. Overcoming the fear of failure as a mom sometimes feels impossible. There are a million opportunities to make decisions that can go wrong.

In today’s episode, we are going to talk about three ways you can overcome the fear of failure and push through as the most courageous mom you can be.

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Rather read? Check out the show notes and episode content right here!

Show Notes and Transcript: Overcoming the Fear of Failure

“Stop letting your potential go to waste because you don’t feel confident or ready enough. People with half of your talents are making serious waves while you’re still waiting to feel ready.”

Unknown

Hey, hey friend! Welcome to Episode #19 of The Secrets of Supermom Show! 

Today we are back to a solo episode because I want to talk to you about fear. What are you afraid of right now? And I am not talking about spiders or heights. 

Where in your life, right now, are you afraid and holding back or letting it paralyze you entirely? Where are you letting fear step in and take control of the wheel? Is it…

…choosing the right preschool?

…submitting for a promotion?

…helping your teen pick a college?

…asking to continue the work from home situation you have instead of returning full time to the office?

…joining a new program to help you become better at your job or a better mom or learn something new entirely?

…having a big, important conversation with your preteen?

…hiring a coach to improve your health, your habits, your body, or your mind?

…starting a new project?

…asking for what you really want from your partner?

We all have fears that can hold us back. And I don’t think fear is always wrong. Sometimes, fear says, “This is not the right choice right now” or “The consequences are not worth the risk in this situation.” We don’t want to completely eliminate fear because it keeps us safe. The problem comes in when we let fear make all the decisions. The problem comes in when fear of failure comes out in self-sabotage or destroyed self-confidence or not trying if it isn’t perfect (we call this perfectionism). Fear gets a place at the table to be heard, but not a vote. Fear gets to make recommendations, but not decisions. 

How do we know when fear is protecting us or paralyzing us? We examine it. What are we afraid of and what will be the result? For example, this year, I put a book into the world, started a podcast, and created a brand new program. Those were some super scary, big dreams. Was I scared because I could be hurt or have major consequences? No. What did scare me was the fear of failure, the fear of looking stupid, the fear of failing publicly, the fear of judgment. These fears, while still scary were trying to protect me emotionally, not from permanent damage. Ego damage maybe, but not injury or true destruction.

I had to realize that those fears were not protecting me from major consequences. In fact, they might even be preventing me from unbelievable successes. And I would never know without pushing past that fear. 

So, if you have some fears coming up in the course of your motherhood journey that are holding you back personally or professionally, how can you overcome that fear of failure, that fear of making the wrong choice, that fear of judgment?

Today we are going to talk about three steps you can take to overcome your fear. 

Analyze and Reframe Your Fears

Start by thinking about what you are wanting to do and why it scares you. What could actually happen? What, really, is the absolute worst thing that could happen? Is it really that bad?

Is the result that could happen something that you can handle? If your answer is absolutely not, fear might be doing its job. But, more often, it is something you can handle. It is something you can actually live with or survive or maybe it isn’t even that bad after all.

Once you know those fears clearly, determine if you can reframe them. Have you heard the saying,

“I never lose. I either win or learn.”

Nelson Mandela

This is a famous quote by Nelson Mandela. Tony Robbins said,

“There is no failure. There are only results.”

Tony Robbins

Can you take the results that might happen and reframe them as a learning experience instead of a failure? 

Another way to reframe is to know that the result isn’t permanent. If you choose the wrong preschool for your toddler, find a new preschool. If you share your most important needs with your partner, and it goes all wrong, have another conversation. There is almost nothing that cannot be changed.

Take Baby Steps to Overcoming Fear

Y’all know that I love taking small, intentional steps. Baby steps forward always. And there is no difference here!

Take a small step forward. Everything is less scary in baby steps. If you can’t take a big leap, you might be able to get there tiptoe by tiptoe. Start small and get started. If you want to write a book, write a sentence. If you want to apply for a promotion, write down one thing that you are great at in your career. Just get started.

Build Yourself Up

Sometimes a fear of failure, fear you won’t make the right choice, fear of rejection, all of these fears that can come up in motherhood can be due to a lack of self-esteem. A lack of confidence. A poor self-concept or lack of self-respect. If you are nodding along and thinking that might be you, go back to Episode 03: The Secret of Confidence. 

Overcoming fear requires courage. Overcoming fear requires you to know, deep inside, that you are the very best you. No matter what happens on the outside. No matter if a big dream or a big plan goes well or if it doesn’t.

Strong and steady confidence allows you to dust yourself off if things don’t go the way you had hoped. Dust yourself off and stand up and try again.

One Small Step: Overcoming the Fear of Failure

Alright friend, let’s wrap up with one small step you can take today to take action. Your action today is to think about something you want to do but fear is holding you back. Just identify it. Once you know it, you can start in on the steps from today’s show. 

Talk to you next week, friends!

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