Need some self-care tips? Do you think you must be doing something “productive” all the time? Are you feeling completely burned out?
In today’s episode, we are talking about self-care tips and the importance of rest based on the “Secrets of Supermom” chapter Supermoms Know When to Stop | The Secret of Rest.
In this episode, you will find:
- What exactly is burnout?
- Self-care tips and how to actually get the rest you need
- 5-minute ways to reenergize anywhere
Ready to listen? Use the podcast player or listen anywhere you find your favorite podcasts. (Don’t forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode!)
Rather read? Check out the show notes and episode content right here!
Show Notes and Transcript:
Hey, hey friend! Welcome to Episode #11 of The Secrets of Supermom Show! Last week we talked about The Secret of Motivation and how supermoms are able to go, go, go. One of the reasons–really the biggest reason–that they can go, go, go is that they know when to stop. They know how to prioritize rest. They know how to take care of themselves and “turn it off” so that when they need to “turn it on”, they can.
Why bother to rest? Why should you actually prioritize self-care and use the self-care tips from this episode? What if you just kept going the way you are going? The answer is exhaustion, frustration, and ultimately burnout.
What is Burnout?
I think burnout can felt in a lot of ways, but I like this definition. In a recent research review, burnout at work was defined as, “…a psychological syndrome emerging as a prolonged response to interpersonal stressors on the job. The three key dimensions of this response are overwhelming exhaustion, feelings of cynicism, and detachment from the job and a sense of ineffectiveness and lack of accomplishment.”
Let’s assume that this can apply at work, at home, in our volunteer responsibilities, really in any element of our life. Perhaps in our WHOLE life.
When you feel burnout, you feel exhausted and detached from your life. It doesn’t allow you to feel present, energized, happy. It doesn’t allow you to be there for your family, your team, and ultimately for yourself.
I want you to ask yourself an honest question. Have you ever been burned out? Have you ever felt like you were teetering on the edge of burnout? I know I have. In 2018, I took on a huge volunteer project–president of our school’s Parent Teacher Association–and within 3 weeks received a huge promotion at work. I go into more detail in the book, but let’s suffice it to say that by the end of the year, I was exhausted. I kind of hated everything, even the things I used to love doing. And I had literally zero free moments to fill my own cup.
Dr. Clark Gaither, burnout expert, says that the opposite of burnout is engagement. That next year, my goal was to be engaged and intentional with my life. I decided that I would make a specific plan for fun that coming year:
- I would go to concerts. I had not been to live concerts in years, and I loved them! I bought tickets to four concerts—P!nk, The New Kids on the Block, Aerosmith, and Korn, in case you are wondering.
- Jeremy and I would go on a date every month. I know some of you are thinking, “What about weekly date night?!?” Nice work for having your marriage top priority. Jeremy and I had slipped to a once every six months or less date night. Monthly seemed more doable and was still a vast improvement.
- We would go on a vacation or stay-cation as a family every quarter.
- I would say yes to friend dates. Not only did this mean way more dinners out with friends, but I also ended up joining a monthly bunco night which was amazing.
That year was truly one of the best ever, and I know it was because I took time to intentionally rest.
Self Care Tips & Intentional Rest
So, as you can see, rest is not sleeping. Rest is fulfilling yourself so you can fulfill others. You might call it self-care, rest, wellness, me-time, whatever.
Today, we are going to talk about a few ways you can prioritize rest today.
You all know how much I love lists, braindumps, mindmaps, really anything that lets your ideas out on paper for you to see them and work with them. Our first tip is to make a list of everything that feels like rest for you.
If you listened to Episode #9 on The Secret of Happiness, you might already have a happiness list you can pull from. If not, a rest list should include everything that fills you up instead of drains you. It should include everything that brings you energy. It should include things that are relaxing to you. It should include things that feel like a break.
If you are struggling, here are some ideas:
- Taking a yoga class
- Reading a favorite book
- Laying by the pool with a magazine
- A date night in the backyard
- A massage or facial
- Watching a romantic comedy
Once you have your list, you need to determine what you need to feel rested and when you will actually do it. Do you need 20 minutes a day to meditate? Do you need a massage once a month? Do you need a time out with friends? You decide what you need to be the best you. Then, you put it on the actual calendar. One of the best self-care tips is to actually make a plan to do it with a specific date and time.
Alright, you have your rest list, you have time on your calendar to do something that you know will make you feel like a million bucks, now what? When that time comes around you are going to follow two important rules:
- Go All In
- Don’t Break Promises to Yourself
To “go all-in” means that you will dedicate your entire focus to the rest you have chosen. You will not multitask. You will not be distracted. You will luxuriate in the time you have dedicated to fill that cup.
Second, no one is going to make you rest. No one is going to know, at least not at the beginning, that missing your time to rest is taking its toll on you. And if you are already on the edge of burnout, you have missed resting for far too long. So, you are going to take the time you scheduled and you are going to keep that promise to yourself. You deserve it, and you are worth it.
Have Only 5-Minutes?
If you have only 5 minutes, there are a few ways you can achieve a feeling of relaxation and de-stress in almost no time.
- The HypnoBreathing Rest
- Sit in a still and comfortable position—I like to have my palms faced up, but you do you. Slowly inhale, focusing on your stomach. You want it to feel like you are very slowly blowing up your abdomen like a balloon. Fast count while you do it, until you can inhale no more. 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12…. Then, exhale just as slowly as you inhaled, fast counting again. Try to blow out every bit of the air in your body. Your goal is to exhale to the same number. So, if you inhaled and fast counted up to twenty-one, try to exhale to twenty-one also. Repeat several times in a row, each time focusing only on the slowness of your breath and the fast counting. If you practice this one, you will start to feel incredibly relaxed at even the first inhale. It is powerful and fast.
- The Anti-Anxiety Rest
- Close your eyes. Focus on your breathing. Just think about your breathing. You are going to fill your lungs with air, and then blow it out slowly. Inhale slowly …1…..2…..3…..4.….5.….6..…7.….8….. Then, exhale …1…..2…..3…..4.….5.….6..…7.….8….. Repeat 4+ times, and then open your eyes.
- The Body Relaxation Rest
- Sitting or lying in a still position, you will start with your feet. Focus only on your feet, make them tense, and then relax them as much as you possibly can. Spend ten to twenty seconds just relaxing your feet. Then, move up to your calves. Again, spend ten to twenty seconds thinking only of your calves, make them tense, and then relax as much as you can. You will move up your entire body, tensing and then relaxing each body part, all the way up to your head. By the time you reach the top, you should feel relaxation in all parts of your body.
- The Visualization Rest
- When I can feel myself at a breaking point, a point where I want to scream at the kids, I use this technique. When I can feel like the next conversation will be hard, I use this technique. When I feel like I have a big chance of losing my cool, I use this technique. Instead of crying in the bathroom, you can try this type of rest.
- Visualization is seeing yourself doing something in your mind. It isn’t just a quick run-through of what you are going to say when you walk out of your office door. It is actually walking through your entire interaction, every thought, every feeling.
- For example, let’s say the kids have decided to play six different games, and they are all now mixed and strewn about the living room floor. You are trying to finish an unexpected business call and get dinner started.
- You might be tempted to scream at the kids, to scream at your partner, or to be short with your colleague.
- Here is where you stop. Stop for five minutes, and see yourself the way you want to act in the situation. See yourself in your mind calmly talking to your kids. Walk through the entire interaction in vivid detail. Think about exactly what you will say. Visualize how you will feel, what the room will look and smell like, your feelings of relaxation and calm as you lovingly interact with your children.
- Your hands are soft not clenched. Your voice is even, not screaming. You end the discussion calmly as your children begin to clean up the vast mess of Monopoly money and Candyland figurines.
- Visualization can allow you to see your life the way you want to live it, reach goals, and interact with others as your best self. It also allows the pause before you act out of frustration instead of love.
- The Active Rest
- Stand up and notice where you feel the tension in your body. Is it your neck and shoulders? Is it your legs? Your feet? Notice where you feel the most tension and start there, move around, and do what feels good. Does it feel good to stretch your arms way over your head? Do that. Does it feel good to touch your toes? Do that. Arm circles, shoulder raises, head rolls, calf raises, and so many more movements might feel good in that specific moment. For five minutes, spend time doing whatever feels the best for your body, focusing only on the stretching and incredible feelings within.
One Small Step: The Secret of Rest
Pick one of the 5-minute rests and try it tonight.
Alright friends, if you are listening to this in real-time, you know that we are in the midst of a giveaway! There are two ways to enter:
- Review The Secrets of Supermom Show on Apple Podcasts, screenshot it, and send it to me via email or DM.
- Screenshot you listening to The Secrets of Supermom show on whichever platform you use and share it to Social Media tagging me so I can see it.
Do both and get two entries!
The contest is valid starting June 17, 2021 through 11:00pm Pacific Time on June 27, 2021. The winner will be chosen at random on June 28, 2021.
What do you win? A hardcover copy of Secrets of Supermom (just released last month), The Secrets of Supermom Workbook in hardcopy, my absolute favorite Supermom mug for coffee, tea, or wine (I won’t judge), and a Supermom journal for all of your ideas, thoughts, goals, and dreams!
(No purchase required. The contest is valid from June 17, 2021 to 11:00pm Pacific Standard Time on June 27, 2021. The winner will be chosen at random on June 28, 2021 via live broadcast on Facebook and Instagram Live.)
Good luck and see you next week, y’all!
