Supermoms do hard things. Being a parent is hard. Climbing the career ladder is hard. Building a business is hard. Supermoms learn how to navigate life’s tough situations to become stronger and better in the process. They make the journey count.
In today’s episode, we talk about The Secret of Strength and the 10 steps supermoms use to navigate challenges and do everything they put their mind to do. You can do hard things.
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Show Notes and Transcript:
Hey, hey friend! Welcome to Episode #8 of The Secrets of Supermom Show! We are still working through Part 2 of the book Secrets of Supermom and next up in The Secrets of the Mind and Body is Chapter 7 | Supermoms Do Hard Things | The Secret of Strength.
You are probably already doing all sorts of hard things. Parenting is hard. Climbing the career ladder is hard. Building a business is hard. Going back to school is hard. We will never be truly successful and truly happy if we cannot navigate hard things. But how do we do it? How do we come through a hard season with more grit and determination than ever before? How do we thrive instead of barely survive? How can we learn to make it through but also make the journey count as we wade through struggles we have never had and challenges we have never encountered?
Today we are going to talk about 10 steps to walk through any challenge.
1. Acknowledge that the situation or choice is hard. You can do hard things.
Deciding that the situation is hard, but you are going to do it anyway, is the first step. Maybe the hard thing you are going through is not your choice like a loss. Or maybe your hard thing is something you chose like starting a business with 4 small kids at home or going back to school to get a Ph.D.
Either way, acknowledging that this will be hard allows you to summon the courage to get through it. It is okay to say it is going to be hard because you, my friend, can do hard things.
2. Accept that you may feel stressed, overwhelmed, or emotionally drained.
The hard and emotional and stressful and tumulous things in our lives are often worth it. They are not easy, and they can bring all sorts of big emotions, but they are worth it. Accept that these emotions might come up for you and make a plan to address them.
When we fail to think about how these feelings might come up for us, we fail to plan for them. When we fail to plan for them, they may derail us completely. We may make bad choices. We may default to things that are not helpful like getting lost in social media, drinking too much, or procrastinating.
An easy way to plan for wild emotions is to use the, “When I feel ______, I will ______” strategy. Here are some examples:
- When I feel overwhelmed, I will pause and focus on only my breathing for 5 minutes.
- When I feel scared, I will take a walk with my dog.
- When I feel stressed, I will write in my journal.
3. Realize your thoughts.
Not only are wild emotions going to come up during your journey, but wild thoughts as well. Our thoughts control our feelings but also our actions. When we allow ourselves to simply react or have an emotion without actually understanding the thought behind it, we can start to feel out of control.
The goal is not to judge the thoughts you are having, just to identify them. Once you identify the thoughts, you can determine the emotion they are causing but can also decide if the thought is worth keeping. Is it true? Is it helpful? You get to decide if the thought is worth keeping or something that is hurting you more than helping. You get to decide if the thoughts should change.
4. Understand that this is your hard thing and no one else’s. You do you.
Sometimes you need to put on your blinders. What do I mean? Sometimes you need to put your head down and do your thing the way you do it. Not the way your mom would do it or your husband would do it or your friend down the street would do it. Sometimes you don’t need a second or third opinion. You just need to reach inside and find your inner strength and courage.
You get to decide how you navigate your hard thing. You get to decide your thoughts and feel your feelings. You don’t have to do things the way someone else would do them. You do you.
If you are struggling with trying to make all of the people happy all of the time, go back to Episode #3 where we talk more about confidence and people-pleasing.
5. Find support.
Just because you don’t have to follow other people’s instructions or do things the way they would do it, doesn’t mean you don’t need them at all. You will need support during your journey.
These people might be different during different parts of your journey. Your person who walks you through the rough patches might be different from the person who cheers with you when you make strides forward. That’s okay. You might find this in the same person. Your person might be a spouse or a friend or a sibling. But, maybe not. Sometimes those closest to us know us really well but are not our biggest supporters. They want to protect us. They don’t want to see us struggle. You might find that you are better off with support from a counselor, therapist, or a coach.
The goal is that you do not feel alone on your journey.
6. Prioritize physical wellness.
In Episode #6 we talked all about The Secret of Health and the impact of our physical health on our mental ability.
Research shows that the highest performers, those that manage challenges well, are also the healthiest. They exercise more and often have a specific exercise regimen. They eat better and choose foods wisely. They know the impact of sleep and rest. They manage stress in order to better cope with the unexpected.
If you can do nothing but prioritize the health of your body, you will see that everything comes easier. Hard things are not quite as hard when you have a healthy body and mind.
7. Find joy.
Next week we are going to do a deep dive into happiness and how to be happy on purpose. Until then, I want you to think about this statement: “In all things, a positive can be found.” True?
Can you find a silver lining? Did you learn something, meet someone new, figure out a process, challenge yourself in a way you never had, simply survive to tell the story? Look for the joy, the positive, the silver lining when the challenge feels like it might not be worth it. At some point, you just might feel that way.
8. Break it down.
Remember that hard things are many tiny actions, not one big leap. Think about how life will look at the end of your challenge. What will be different? Will you have a new job, a new sense of freedom, a feeling of peace?
Then, work backward. Breaking down any hard thing into the smallest steps makes it seem manageable, doable. It helps you feel like you can handle it instead of becoming overwhelmed by the enormity of the challenge.
9. Take the first step.
You have identified the steps. Your mindset is right. Your health is prioritized. It is time to JUST START. Take the first step. Do the first thing on the list. Make the first, tiny leap. It is time.
Since the first step is often the hardest, getting yourself in motion by choosing something small makes you more likely to take step two, three, and forty-seven.
10. Celebrate your wins (even the small ones!)
It is time to celebrate! Remember that you deserve to enjoy the successes. You deserve to make the journey count. It is impossible to do hard things without taking a moment to realize your wins. It is impossible to continue to maintain a necessary level of drive and perseverance if you don’t recognize how amazing you actually are for doing hard things!
The Secret of Strength: One Small Step
Let’s review our steps one more time:
- Acknowledge that the situation or choice is hard. You can do hard things.
- Accept that you may feel stressed, overwhelmed, or emotionally drained.
- Realize your thoughts.
- Understand that this is your hard thing and no one else’s. You do you.
- Find support.
- Prioritize physical wellness.
- Find joy.
- Break it down.
- Take the first step.
- Celebrate your wins (even the small ones!)
As you know, in every episode we share one small step–one thing you can do right now to get started. Decide your one hard thing. What is the one hard thing you want to conquer this summer? On the flip side, what are you doing or going through right now that just feels really hard? Why is it hard? Acknowledge that sometimes things are hard (maybe even unfair). Decide your hard thing, write it down on a post-it note, and look at it every day. When you decide you are ready, start digging through the steps from this episode.
Do you need a way to keep track? The Secrets of Supermom Workbook is available at secretsofsupermom.com/sosworkbook and takes you through all of the steps as well as all of the other activities in the book. And! It’s free! Go grab it if you think it will help!
In the meantime, get excited about next week’s episode. It is sure to be a favorite. See you next week, y’all!
