Research shows us that attitude is everything. A positive attitude can help you do things better, even better than people smarter or more qualified than you. Can you change your attitude if it isn’t what you want it to be? Let’s find out!
In today’s episode, we talk about The Secret of Attitude and six ways supermoms can make anything fun, both at work and at home.
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Show Notes and Transcript: Positive Attitude
Hey, hey friend! Welcome to Episode #7 of The Secrets of Supermom Show! We have been working through Part 2 of the book Secrets of Supermom and next up in The Secrets of the Mind and Body is Chapter 6 | Supermoms Can Make Anything Fun | The Secret of Attitude.
Yesterday was the third time this month that someone called me a ray of sunshine, like actually used the words “Ray. Of. Sunshine.” I had another mom tell me, “You are just so positive.” This is exactly what I want people to see. I want the light I feel inside to be shining out of me like a laser beam. I am not hiding the fact that I am a positive person. I am shouting it from the mountain tops and want it to spill out like golden lava.
So, I have a question for you, “What attitude is beaming out of you?” What is spilling out for all to see? Is it positivity, joy, optimism, negativity, frustration, pessimism? And whatever it is, is it the attitude you want? Is it the one you want to feel and the one you want to share with others?
If not, or even if the answer is not always, today we are going to talk about specific ways to cultivate a positive attitude and make things fun. Let me clarify something. A positive attitude is not the same as unrealistic optimism. It isn’t ignoring that sometimes things suck. That sometimes we are in a bad mood. That sometimes things do not go the way that we want them to go. And it isn’t pretending. A positive attitude is making the choice, deciding to look for the good in a situation, a way to make something as fun and easy as possible, looking for the benefits even when something is hard, and cultivating the possibility of hope.
Why should we care? Why does this matter? I am glad you asked. Research shows that a positive attitude:
- Creates better brain function (it literally makes you smarter)
- Improves memory
- Increases your ability to solve problems
- Improves ability to manage stress
- Gives you an immunity boost
- Increases resilience in children and adults (Wait…what is resilience again? It is the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties.)
- Lowers levels of depression
It makes you think better and feel better. I think we could all use a little bit of that.
Let’s talk about a few ways that you can improve your attitude or even dare I say cultivate a positive attitude. Stick around because we are going to talk about some more obvious strategies as well as some not-so-obvious ones. I know there will be something you can try today.
How to Cultivate a Positive Attitude
You Are in Control
The best thing and probably the hardest thing about a positive attitude is that it is 100% completely up to…YOU. You get to decide how you approach anything in your life. You get to decide if your glass is half empty or half full. You control your thoughts and your feelings. You are in control. You decide.
So, what do you do if you know you are in control but a pesky negative attitude comes welling up, trying to take over the whole situation? I remember a morning with the kids a few years ago. Jeremy was on a trip, of course. It seemed like EVERYTHING went wrong! What was the first thought that came to my mind? “I bet the whole day is just going to be the worst.” Wait a second? Did a bad morning mean a bad day? Of course not. I had to have a serious talk with myself and remind myself that I could realize my part in the crazy morning (getting the kids started late, trying to do too many meetings while getting kids ready at the same time, checking email first instead of working on priorities of the day…the list could go on). I could then decide that I would change the trajectory of my day. I would choose a better attitude. I would take a second to breathe and recenter my day. I would request a do-over from the kids. I would not let a bad few hours ruin a perfectly good day ahead. I was in control.
Put Happy Habits in Place
When I have to wake up my kiddos, which let’s be honest is not that often lately because they wake up at the crack of dawn, but when I do, I sing the “Good Morning Song”. I will not bless you with a rendition but suffice to say that it is a sweet little song that helps them wake up happy. We have this tradition, this habit, in our house to keep a positive spin on mornings even if someone wakes up tired or on the wrong side of the bed.
When we clean the house, we set a timer and we blast music. We have to clean so we can decide to make it miserable or decide to make it fun. Remember the choice is ours!
Think about something in your life that you have to do and decide a way that you can make it fun or change the attitude about it either at home or at work. Same task, different attitude.
Get Rid of Negative Self Talk
“You are so stupid.”
“How did you even get this position?”
“You are never going to pass this test.”
“You are the worst mom. There you go, yelling again.”
“You are just going to be fat and lonely if you keep eating like that.”
“Why can’t you be more like _____?”
“Your presentation is definitely going to suck.”
If you heard your best friend say these things to someone, you would be appalled, right? So, why, is it okay to talk this way to yourself?
To change your attitude, you have to stop talking to yourself with negativity. You are worthy of amazing things. You deserve a happy attitude and a happy life. You do NOT deserve to hear negative, even horrible things from anyone else and certainly not from yourself.
Use Visualization
I love the idea of visualization because it allows you to see yourself doing something in your mind before you actually do it. Do you have a big presentation, a big competition, a big challenge to face? Using visualization, you can watch yourself walk through the whole process, and you get to decide how you do and how you feel about it. You get to imagine feeling strong or proud or qualified. You get to see yourself succeed in your mind. When you actually move forward into the challenge, your mind will believe that it will go as you visualized.
Let’s pretend you have a really big sales call. You can watch yourself being friendly and positive, well-liked. You can watch yourself perfectly answering every objection. You can watch yourself closing the deal.
Visualization allows you to see the positive before it happens and keep that attitude when reality starts.
Avoid Negative Nellies
In Chapter 15 of the book, I talk about the Culture of Complaint. We are going to talk way more about that in just a few episodes, but one sure way to stay negative is to hang out with negative people. If you want to be positive, hanging out with coworkers, friends, family members, or anyone else that constantly put a negative spin on things, complains, or otherwise brings you down will be nearly impossible.
I am not saying to ditch all your negative friends. Your Negative Nellies might be some of your favorite people. What I am saying is, when we want to make a big change in our life like changing our attitude, feeling better, and being a more positive person, sometimes we need to be very clear about our choices. If you are consistently surrounding yourself with people who don’t care about their health, your health journey will be harder. If you consistently surrounding yourself with people who seem to hate everything, your journey to a positive life will be harder.
Start a Gratitude Practice
You have probably now heard this on every podcast, from every coach, from all of your friends…if you don’t have a practice of identifying things you are grateful for, it is time to start. Think about things you are grateful for, people you are happy to have in your life, specific parts of your day that you are thankful happened. Maybe it was a great conversation with a friend. Maybe it was snuggles with your kids. Maybe it was a lovely date night with your partner. The benefit of making this a practice, as in something you do every day, is that it teaches you to look for those good things. And looking for the positive throughout your day brings that positive attitude forward.
In our family, we do what is called best/worst. Each night at dinner, we go around the table and tell our best of the day and our worst of the day. This allows us to share our losses while remembering that every day has something good, even the bad days.
The Secret of Attitude: One Small Step
Alright, we talked about six ways to cultivate a positive attitude in yourself. I promised you that every episode we will end with one small step that you can do today, as in right now, to apply the lessons from the show. You could really start ANY of the things we talked about today right away. Today was jam-packed with fast and easy strategies. If I could choose only one, it would be gratitude. It is incredibly effective and incredibly easy to implement.
See you next week, y’all!
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