Do you know how to love your body? It’s not an easy question. It is fraught with the insecurity of how your body looks, expectations of culture and family, and long-ingrained feelings from how you were raised. It can be raw and painful. It can make you feel naked.
In today’s episode, we talk about The Secret of Health and how supermoms love their bodies. We talk about how to love your body better. Because, friends, it’s the only one you get.
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Show Notes and Transcript:
“YOU HAVE YOUR BODY TO THANK FOR EVERY GOOD THING YOU HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED.”
Jen Hatmaker
Hey, hey friend! Welcome to Episode #6 of The Secrets of Supermom Show! If you have been following along, I am sharing key tips right from the book Secrets of Supermom as we kick off the podcast. For our first five episodes, we started with Part 1 of the book which covered The Key Secrets (There is a freebie of the Top 4 Secrets from the book that you can check out here!). Part 2 of the book is called The Secrets of the Mind and Body, and today we are talking about Chapter 5: Supermoms Love Their Body: The Secret of Health.
I am going to get a little bit vulnerable today because I want to share what has finally worked for me. I think it might help you, too, and has made a huge difference in how I show up as a mom and in my career. To understand completely, I need you to know where I started, and although a lot of personal stories are in the book, this one isn’t.
For many years, really my whole life, I have struggled with weight. I have never been into sports and am actually horrible at them. I was never into any type of exercise for very long. I would start something and never stick with it. I knew I should move my body somehow, I just never found anything I liked enough to keep going and was never coordinated enough to do anything well.
To add to that, I have always eaten too much. I love food. Like all kinds of food. I love trying new things. I love sitting down with friends and sharing dinner. I love family dinner nights. Good things just seem to always center around food.
I always thought of myself as the fat friend. I was definitely the fat sister. I was the fat bridesmaid. And in my head, I translated that to the ugly friend, the ugly sister, the ugly bridesmaid. So I worked really hard to be amazing at everything else. I couldn’t change the way I looked, I thought, but I could definitely control how hard I worked, how I treated people, the difference I could make in the world. But that ugly girl, that fat girl, she was still the face in the mirror every single day.
Not only did I not love my body–as in love to look at it, think about it–I also didn’t love my body–as in providing it with love. Give it good things. Treat it well. Tell it nice things. The way I looked was my biggest imperfection, and I wanted to ignore it instead of face it.
Thanks for listening! Just kidding. So, what changed? Do I love my body now? Have I come through the other side? Well, sort of. I sure love what my body can do for me. I sure love how good my body feels every day. I absolutely realize that quote from Jen Hatmaker is completely true. My body is responsible for every good thing that has happened to me. Falling in love, pregnancy, the half marathons I ran, that bubbly feeling of joy that feels like it is going to explode out of you…my body is responsible for all of that. And those things, all of those things together, make me care less about what it looks like. They make me focus more on how grateful I am for this body instead of hating the package it’s wrapped in. I sure love my body more than I ever have, and I am always happy to be a work in progress.
How to LOVE Your Body
You all already know that I love being intentional, and I love a good list or tracker. You are going to hear it from me over and over again. If you love a good list too, you are my people.
I want you to make a list of all the good things your body is responsible for giving you. Love, babies, happiness, strength, everything you can think of. We keep it clean on this podcast because little ears are everywhere, but think of every amazing feeling you get to have because of your body. Get specific. Journal it. Keep the list in your bag and add to it as you think of new things this week. I bet you could list 100.
As you do this, you might be tempted to think about all the reasons you hate your body. Maybe your body made cancer, and you hate it for that. Maybe your body couldn’t carry a child, and you hate it for that. Maybe you have an autoimmune disease. Maybe you hate that it made cellulite or stretch marks or freckles or green eyes instead of blue. If you feel called to do it, make a separate list of those. When you don’t give yourself the ability to process the bad with the good, it can feel like an elephant in the room. Your mind can feel like you are trying to trick it, being dishonest.
When you start to feel insecure about your body, when you start to say negative things to yourself, I want you to reflect back on that list of positives. Maybe you even create a mantra or an affirmation from some of the items. Maybe you put them on a post-it note inside your medicine cabinet or put a phone alarm to go off every day at 2:22 p.m.
So, what do you do with the hate list? Let that sucker rest for a few days and, when you feel ready to be really honest with yourself, I want you to look at the list and go through each item. Ask yourself some questions. Is it true? Is it something you can change? Is it something you want to change?
If you answered yes to all of these questions, this we can work with. We can make a plan. We can set the goal and work on the steps to get there. But if you answered no, that is a whole other set of work all together. We are going to talk about mindset in an upcoming episode so hold tight.
So far we have talked about things that are not officially in the book. Call it a bonus. I want to talk about a few concepts that are in the book. What do supermoms tangibly do to love their body?
Let’s Talk About Food
When I decided to explore food for the way it made me feel, it changed my concept of food forever. I did this through something called the Whole30™. I am actually going to do an entire episode on my experience with the Whole30™ because it has resonated with many moms I have talked with and inspired some of them to try it. There are certainly other “diets” that have the same concept of restricting food groups and slowly adding things back in one at a time to see how they make you feel.
My goal was not to lose a lot of weight, or any weight actually. I was breastfeeding when I tried it for the first time and certainly didn’t want to reduce my milk supply. What I did want was to feel like a supermom. I have done lots of experimenting with foods since 2016 when I tried it for the first time. I know that limiting sugar helps my brain feel on fire. I know that really low fat in my diet makes me feel very slow, like I can’t think fast. I know that dairy, while not causing bloating like it does for many people, causes inflammation in my body because it brings back a hip pain that goes away completely when I don’t have inflammatory foods.
Paying attention to what you eat and how it makes you feel can help you love your body by making it feel amazing. I care far less about what my body actually looks like when it feels strong, smart, and full of amazing energy.
Let’s Talk About Movement
I strongly believe that you can find something that will work for you, if you don’t already have it. I am the least likely person to work out. Again, I talk a lot more about this in the book, but in 2018 I finally found a work out that worked for me. My main workout is what I like to call a group personal training session three days per week. I swing kettlebells over my head, y’all. This is nothing I ever thought I would like. But I kept trying new things for years until something stuck. Maybe for you it will be yoga or spin class or salsa dancing or running or crossfit. Maybe you will like going on bike rides or for long walks. Keep trying to find it because I know you can find something that works.
Let’s Talk About Sleep
I spent years getting four and five hours of sleep per night. I have taken countless red eye flights only to walk directly into a client meeting. I nursed all four babies for over a year each and no one slept through the night until they were fully done nursing. I have a four-year-old who is in my bed 99% of the time. I am no stranger to lack of sleep.
But! I am better when I get more sleep. I am stronger in my workouts. I make better food choices. I am more patient with my children. I am smarter when solving problems at work. So even though I can function on little sleep, and am honestly not a huge fan of sleep in general, I know I am better when I sleep more.
If you already know you need more sleep, do everything you can do to get it. I know you have heard that sleep deprivation is almost like being intoxicated. So, make some changes to get the sleep your body needs. And if you truly believe that you don’t need any sleep to function, how many hours did you sleep per night on your last vacation? How long do you sleep when the shades are pulled and the alarm doesn’t go off? You might be a unicorn, but probably you are not.
The Secret of Health: One Small Step
I promised you that every episode we will end with one small step that you can do today, as in right now, to apply the lessons from the show. I want you to make your list of every good thing your body has made possible, or at least start it. I would love for you to share it below or in a DM! See you next week, y’all!
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